I got a missionary email from one of my son’s friends the other day. And as I read it, my heart broke a little. He was explaining how he’s learning and growing. How he can see now that who he was before was hard to live with. He named it—bullheaded, stubborn. He talked about change. About becoming different. And then he asked for something really vulnerable: Another chance. Another chance from people who may feel like bridges have already been burned. And as I sat there readi

We like to think we see people clearly. But more often than we realize, we see people through a lens that was handed to us—and then we treat them accordingly. Over time, they often become exactly what we expected. This is the Pygmalion effect : people tend to rise—or fall—to the level of expectations placed on them. When someone is seen as capable, they’re given more trust, more opportunity, more patience. When they’re seen as incapable, they’re managed, limited, or overlooke

I started reading Dopamine Nation recently, and one idea immediately stuck with me. Pain and pleasure are processed in the same part of the brain. Not just related. Not just influencing each other. But actually sharing the same system. The See-Saw As I read that, I had this really clear picture: A see-saw. Pain on one side. Pleasure on the other. When one goes up, the other goes down. They are directly connected. Which means something we don’t always like to admit: When you r

There’s a version of life we all wish we had. The one where everything is clear. Where we can see the path ahead. Where we know how it’s going to turn out. But that’s not usually how it works. Most of the time, we’re given something much smaller. A Story About My Dad and Grandpa My grandpa once took his three stepsons—including my dad—out to a lake deep in the forest. It was one of those perfect days. Fishing. Skipping rocks. Laughing. No rush. Until they realized something t

Every self growth journey feels like standing at the bottom of a valley surrounded by steep mountains. No matter which way you turn, the path ahead is uphill. Many people start climbing one mountain, find it exhausting, and think they took the wrong path. They return to the valley floor, only to face another steep climb in a different direction. This cycle can leave you feeling stuck and frustrated. The real goal of any self growth be it coaching, therapy, or reading self imp